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i'm becca and i'm not fucking special

reasons why 2013 was awesome

- “character development.” given what i’ve been through in recent years, i’m coming into my own in the true sense of the phrase. learning what makes me tick, what i’m passionate about, what i love, etc, and all the opposite. i know it’s cliche to say, but it’s true - i’ve grown as a person so much this past year. i’ve learned (and am still learning) acceptance and letting go of expectations. it is how it is and i’m ok with it. the present…my past…and the future ain’t no thang.

- i got, and currently have, the best job i’ve ever had. crossing the co-worker/friend threshold in both jobs i’ve had this year is probably one of the best things i’ve ever done

- i got out of a toxic relationship and lifestyle where i was undervalued and disrespected. it took a while to adjust, but life has never been better and i’m so thankful for all experiences in respect to this, both good and bad.

- i got back into school. and got the best grades i’ve ever had. still accepting the fact that i’m a late bloomer, and life is not a race. 

- it took a couple tries, but i finally quit smoking cigarettes. 

- also finally got around to that whole “healthy lifestyle” thing i’ve been after for years, and i have never felt better, in every sense of the word. it’s also helped me accept the fact that i will most likely never be a size 2, as well as be happy with that fact (a lesson that took 10 years to learn). 

- learned how amazingly accepting the people in my life are. some people come and go, and some friends are truly forever. these people have my undying respect and love. thank you for understanding and not demanding anything of me, even during my times of shortcomings. 

-  got out of credit card debt hollaaaaa

- honestly, this is all i can come up with for now. there was a lot of shitty stuff that happened. but i pulled through all of it, and mostly on my own. i’ve really sculpted my psyche, my values, and my perspective more than anything this past year. thank you, self. i can’t wait to see what i can do in 2014, which will be my best year yet.

BRING

IT

FUCKING

ON

Things I’ve learned in my short 22 years of living

- Love yourself regardless of what others think/say. Like the great Dr Seuss once said, “If they matter, they don’t mind; if they mind, they don’t matter.”

- Focus on what you love. Don’t waste time or energy on anything else.

- Use every opportunity you can to help a friend.

- Don’t get stuck on the past.

- INVEST IN YOUR BODY MODIFICATIONS. And make sure your tattoo artist isn’t a sloppy, pervy coke addict. 

- Work hard towards what you want. It will be worth it. 

- Life is what you make it. Attitude really does matter. 

- The more you worry, the bigger your problem becomes. Focus on here and now. 

- Don’t buy hair extensions. It’s not worth it, coming from someone who has had almost every method on her head. 

- Don’t let anything sway you except your own point of view. 

- Don’t cheap out. Like body modifications, always invest in a good product that will last you a long time.

- Don’t cheat yourself. Don’t lie to yourself. Don’t put yourself down. 

- There’s no such thing as “fake” or “a poser.” Everyone has a dream they’re trying to fulfill, an image we want to become. There’s nothing wrong with that.

- This one is from one of my friends: Self control is the best victory.

- Never let your emotions get the best of you, unless they are emotions of joy & love.

- This too shall pass. 

- Cliches are usually/probably true. 

Dammit.

You know, this whole “embracing yourself” thing is a lot easier said than done. 

Which sucks to even admit that it’s hard, I’ve been a hater of pretty much anything that comes my way for so long that sometimes I confuse myself. 

One of my strongest beliefs is that the world is your mirror, everything that you feel, think, buy, support, do, is reflected everywhere else in the world, or is effected somehow. I feel like in some strange way I’ve caused a portion of the hate and negativity that’s going on in the world these days.

I used to be the true essence of a hipster - no, not in my sense of style, which for some reason people think that’s how you identify a hipster (I hardly have jack shit anymore from being poor and selling all my things, or giving them away in a manic I’m-abandoning-all-this-unnecessary-shit frenzy, which I’m now kicking myself in the ass for), but in the sense that I felt this harrowing, intense need to be wildly different from anyone and everyone. It was like the argumentative personality type in my personal style and interests. Super underground, counter culture, punk-turned-emo-turned-scene-turned-hipster-in-the-sense-of-style-way. That tended to be the natural progression of counter-culture adolescent female, as it turned out. And you can’t bitch at me that it’s not true, cause I was kind of a part of it. 

Now that I’m all like “I’m gonna like what I like and me or you or NO ONE is gonna give a FUCK about it,” it’s almost making me MORE depressed. What even. 

Moral of story: learn to love yourself before you get too old to remember how

So not feeling the love today

I’m just gonna lie on my bed with the laptop and eat candy and other sweets and listen to my “waiting for autumn” mix and wait for my boyfriend to come rescue me.

Songs that remind me of falltime fill me with such bittersweetness. A tiny, perfect shard of hope, an acceptance of darkness, a reminder of my past love affair with hopelessness.

Also feeling despondent and appreciative of the dark, quiet, peaceful & reflective times in life? I highly recommend: Bjork, Iron & Wine, The Smiths, Fleet Foxes, Sea Wolf, Florence and the Machine, Bob Dylan, Cat Power, The Shins, Caribou, Simon and Garfunkel, and Bon Iver, to name a few. 

twitter/instagram

totally forgot i had these sites. actually i just signed up for twitter. 

instagram: tattooine_

twitter: maplejoy

going to be posting ebay stuff tomorrow. working on another etsy shop idea. gotta get hustlin. stay posted. :) 

Seeing motherfucking TOOL today!

only US show this YEAR

in MINNESOTA

FUCK YEAH

memphis

spent the night here on our way to bonnaroo. it’s a sadly dirty city.

went to hooters for the first time. yuck.

so excited for the next few days! it’s been from bella fiore to wakarusa and now to bonnaroo, hardly any slowing down. i’ve been meeting so many amazing people and finding awesome new music. my life is fucking amazing right now. i thank my lucky stars - and my lovely lovely friend & lovely loverfriend :)

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